The last 6 months have been wonderful and in the last days of my time in Zambia I find myself weepy for the beautiful growth and experiences I have been absorbed into. I look back to my departure from Canada and I can still feel the nervous excitement for what lay ahead of me; the great unknown. I was afraid and seriously doubted my capability to complete the mission before me. I worried about my family, my boyfriend, myself! What if something happened to my family, what if my boyfriend couldn’t commit to a long distance relationship, what if I was assaulted or too homesick to stay in Zambia? I had very real fears and self doubts that would overpower my excitement and joy for traveling to Africa and working on the ground in a third world country. I look back now and I am grateful for all of my fears but I am more grateful for my faith in myself to carry on with this internship. Our fears do not have to stop us if we see them for what they are; do not judge yourself for being scared of anything, let those emotions work as a catalyst for stepping outside yourself and moving ever forward on your journey through life.
I believe that the most unbearable emotions in life are our very best teachers. Sometimes they lay so heavy on our chest that breathing becomes difficult, but we learn to breathe through those times, we find the centre of the flowing emotions and we rest there, not allowing the currents of anger, doubt, fear, or loneliness to sweep you away. Each sensation is just another temperature of water, remind yourself of this every time you feel lost or at the bottom of the pit, what we feel is just another form of something else we’ve felt, find the centre. Breathe.
The lovely people I have met, the wondrous sights I have seen. The intensity of life I have tasted! When I created this blog site in September I titled it Emily’s Africa, but now I see the title should read Africa’s Emily; I have been embraced and nourished by this time. I have blended with life and no longer feel anxiety to be anything but at peace, I have been absorbed into the essence of this wonderful country and I will forever be changed and inspired by life.
Sit as long as you need on the banks of your river. But in my experiences, jumping in is much more fun. Be embraced by this time; hear the symphonies of life serenading you in each moment, and fear nothing else but a life unlived.
I know the reason I feel so blessed, my heart still splashes inside my chest.
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3 comments:
Thank you Emily
What a very beautiful blog I feel that I have changed because of your travels.
I will love you dearly when you get home but in the words of CSLewis I think- Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter one of the Great Story in which every chapter is better than the one before.
Love you Mom
Hi Emily,
I found your blog through my friend, Michelle Symes, who somehow knows your mother. Your stories have continuously been a joy to read and have both inspired me and made me cry.
I have been touched by each and every thing you've shared and I thank you for writing and letting me experience Africa, and life, through your eyes for a few minutes.
Michelle and I have raced each other to your blog site on a regular basis....messaging each other each time you posted something new...."New blog.Emily.Read now.Crying already.You...go...now...read."
I wish you safe travels home and a lifetime of "Africa's". I'm sure your Mom will be happy to have you wrapped in her arms again soon. May your heart always beat with such passion as you found in the dusty, hot land of Africa.
All the best,
Lianne MacNeil
www.bloggideeblogblog.blogspot.com
Hi Emily,
I see that Lianne beat me to your blog this time, but like she said, we waited with baited breath for your next post. I felt sometimes like I was watching over your shoulder peeking in on your experiences.
Thank you for sharing.
Be safe and take care,
Michelle Symes
www.boularderieislandlover.blogspot.com
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