it was the night before...

i leave for my 6 month internship tomorrow night...i have yet to finish packing, and i am remaining unusually calm, eye of the storm?

anyways, i am feeling present, my kitty seems unnerved, i believe he knows i am leaving for a little while. everything is quiet, i hear the trees whispering outside of my window with the gentle breeze. i am going on a journey and it all starts....

now.

wish me luck.

3 sleeps...

I leave for Zambia Monday night...I feel neutral about everything. Not exactly nervous or excited, but accepting of everything. Perhaps ready is not the operative word because I have never participated in anything like this before, but as an individual I am calm and open to the vast ocean of experiences I will be emerged in. That I am ready for...sink or swim...I'm ready to jump in.

BISMILLAH

Its a habit of yours to walk slowly.
You hold a grudge for years.
With such heaviness, how can you be modest?
With such attachments, do you except to arrive anywhere?

Be wide as the air to learn a secret.
Right now you're equal portions of clay
and water, thick mud.

Abraham learned how the sun and the moon and the stars all set.
He said, No longer will I try to assign partners for God.

You are so weak. Give up to grace.
The ocean takes care of each wave
till it gets to shore.
You need more help then you know.
You're trying to live your life in open scaffolding.
Say Bismillah, In the name of God,
as the priest does with a knife when he offers an animal.

Bismillah your old self
to find your real name.